Three Word Consequences
by painted.inkblot
Summary: Five times Dean Thomas should have said, "I love you." Oneshot.


Written for both Cuban Sombrero Gal's Five Things Challenge and hondagirl's First Love Challenge at the Harry Potter Fanfiction Challenges forum. Yes, I am addicted to that place, why do you ask?

Oh, and once again, FFnet's own spacers will not save, so I had to use "--" instead. I'm sorry if that bugs you.

_Three Word Consequences_

_(or)_

_Five Times Dean Thomas Should Have Said "I love you."_

--

–_Parvati–_

_(One)_

Dean puts off getting a date for the Yule Ball, deciding to think about who he'd actually like going with instead of snagging the first pretty girl he sees. After several days spent thinking (and several doodled-over notes with sketches, pros, and cons of the girls in his year more legible than the notes themselves) he decides upon Parvati Patil, who is pretty (one of the prettiest girls in his year, in Dean's opinion) and carefree and easy to talk to, not to mention the fact that he's had a bit of a crush on her since second year.

The day he decides to ask her after their lessons, he learns that Harry already has, and Ron Parvati's sister, Padma. He also learns that Harry asked Parvati because he is actually required to have a date, something he thinks totally unfair.

He sighs and spends his free time sketching Parvati in various positions, one of them dancing with him. He should have asked her out earlier, maybe with an added "I love you" for good measure.

As Dean watches the two dance at the Yule Ball (Harry rather awkwardly, he notes) and then, later, watches Parvati go over to some Beauxbatons boy instead, brow furrowing, he really wishes he had asked Parvati out sooner.

And said, "I love you," too, even if all it was was a childish crush.

--

–_Ginny–_

_(Two)_

It's two years later and Dean is definitely over Parvati. Now his focus is on Ron's younger sister, Ginny, and he is glad he never said, "I love you" to Parvati, because Ginny's the one who deserves it. His notes are now doodled over with Ginny instead, red hair flowing from her head and her mouth in a smile and her warm brown eyes alight with laughter. She's lovely to draw and there's something ethereal about her that he loves to capture on paper.

Dean hasn't said, "I love you" to Ginny yet; he's saving that for a special moment, and, instead, he sends his I-love-yous in the form of kisses.

Dean knows Ron is very protective, and he tries to show Ron that Ginny's fine in his hands by being protective of her, too, but not as much as Ron. This is love, he knows - not a crush like with Parvati, but real love. Soon enough, his notes have ring designs on the edges, but hazy and faint as if they know right now it's too far off and little more than a dream.

When Ginny breaks up with him, Dean doesn't think it's his protectiveness of her that caused it, as the rings fade into invisibility in his notes and the kisses become no more than daydreams. No, Dean should have given her an "I love you" instead of waiting for the pivotal moment, and that he is sure of.

--

–_Seamus–_

_(Three)_

Much more time has passed than a year by the time of what should have been May of Dean's seventh year, and trivial matters such as love are far from bubbling at the top of Dean's mind, the stuff of war and battle and survival taking its place while he is on the run, away from all the people he has been with in his life. Seamus is one of those people.

It's hard for Dean to wake without an Irish accent greeting him or the bleary sight of sandy hair. Hell, it's hard for Dean to be without that familiar Irish accent all day, and often "Seamus" is in his mind where "survival" should be, and Dean begins to think that friendship is a much stronger emotion than love, and perhaps one that matters more to his survival and tolerance of life.

So it's heaven when Dean sees Seamus in the Room of Requirement for the first time in months, getting tackled by his mate with a roar (that has the Irish accent Dean's been craving all year), and no more words are needed, if a roar of joy counts as a word.

Or, at least, that's what Dean thinks until the battle starts and he can't see his friend anywhere. The need to see his best friend alive is what keeps _him_ alive while he fights, fury and desperation in his shouts as he duels with Death Eaters and gets so hurt that the blood and wounds are more normal than Dean's regular state of health is.

He should have said, "I love you," Dean knows, the words becoming a mantra (and a berating) in his head as he fights. Seamus is his best friend, and the last words they exchanged before fighting were some cheap jokes, funny as hell after not seeing each other for months, but not as funny now.

It's a fucking miracle, Dean thinks after the battle, when the euphoria is overpowering his wounds, that Seamus is still there alive, even without a right hand and as many wounds as him. But Dean knows he still should have said, "I love you," and he hates himself for not doing it for the rest of his life.

--

–_Luna–_

_(Four)_

It's a year after sixth (though it seems so much more) and Ginny's name sits in the shelves of Dean's mind besides Parvati, not a childish crush but quick teenage romance, the kind that every teenager thinks is pure and true and forever. Now Dean is occupied by one Luna Lovegood.

Luna is – well – _Luna, _straggly blonde hair and large dreamy eyes and whispery voice and the human form of surrealism, someone who fascinates Dean at every corner. Unlike Parvati and Ginny, however, it's obvious to Dean that Luna is more than a childish crush or the other partner in a whirlwind teen romance, because Luna isn't the type of person who could ever fit into that type of love.

Dean hasn't given her an "I love you" yet, because those three words seem to be too small, too undefining, too unimportant and _boring_ for a girl like Luna, to whom gazing up at the sky or talking about animals that (may or) may not even exist are far more important than dull words like "I love you."

Words like "People don't marry their first love," however, never even occur to Dean, and, if they ever did, he would think nothing of them. Luna is more than a first love, and he is content to spend the rest of his life with her, he thinks.

He refrains from giving Luna an "I love you" as years pass, and the mere opportunity for three words start to become scarce as Luna sets out on more and more explorations and expeditions because of her naturalist career. Dean never thinks that perhaps Luna doesn't think an "I love you" are three words that are too boring and dull for her.

And so it is Dean begins the hard and painful work of placing Luna's name next to Parvati's and Ginny's when Neville offhandedly tells him that Luna met some bloke she liked named Rolf while on one of her many expeditions.

--

–_Susan–_

_(Five)_

It's a few years after Dean's finally gotten Luna's name to stay with Parvati's and Ginny's, and he no longer wants to strangle Rolf Scamander when he thinks of him. He first meets Susan Bones when he's doing illustrations for a book former year-mates Anthony Goldstein and Morag MacDougal are developing, a book containing recounts from each person in their old year during the 97/98 school year. Susan's finished writing hers, and she's over at his flat, discussing illustrations with him. Dean knows right away when he's seen her that he doesn't want to illustrate any experience from back during the war, but her _now_ as she is, just a full portrait. She protests that it might not be completely appropriate if any kids will be reading the book, what with her having no right eye and such a mangled and twisted arm that it's a bit hard to figure out what it is at first, but Dean knows that she knows that's no explanation at all, and he gets to the portrait right away.

Dean gets her not to wear her sunglasses or her eyepatch, and she wears no robes or long-sleeved shirt, leaving her mangled right arm bare. There's nothing else to the picture except _Susan, _a somewhat grim smile on her face and her one gray-green eye shining. Her skin is marred with scars here and there, like many survivors of the battle, and some of her body is caught in shadow.

It's done with charcoals, and it's not the best picture Dean's ever done, but he still thinks it's beautiful, despite the one eye and the mangled arm and the scars. He's quite sorry to see Susan go, supposing that perhaps they'd meet again due to fate – and then the more practical, forward part of his mind kicks in, thinks, "To hell with it," and asks Susan for her address. Curiously, she gives it right away.

Many dates later and Dean knows that if he doesn't say, "I love you" he'll explode, and he knows by now it's not a good thing not to say those three words. He and Susan get back to her flat and he opens his mouth, but before he can get a word in edgewise she declares, "I love you" and Dean's forced (though he's not very sad about it) to say, "I love you, too."

--

Five times Dean Thomas should have said, "I love you," and one time he said something just as good.


End file.
